james fryer

Ray is retiring, he has a few thousands thoughts on the matter. Written in completely impenetrable corporate-speak. I’ve taken one for the team, suffered through every word, and wrung out the secret code hidden within:

Things change.

We don’t really understand the cloud, but we keep throwing money at it.

We haven’t kept up with our competitors.

Even though Microsoft’s core products are overly complex crap, they remain strong because of their monopolies.

The kids may be waking up to the fact that Microsoft’s products suck, the road ahead might get bumpy.

This cloud thing may or may not develop and Microsoft may or may not be ready for it, still no clue where it’s headed.

The kids seem to be using the cloud.

Because no one is using Microsoft’s ‘cloud services’, we need to scare them into using them with talk about ‘trust & privacy’.

I’m going to ignore how much money Apple is making selling hardware and pretend that the hardware doesn’t matter.

Microsoft needs to put Windows in every one’s toaster, big untapped market there.

I’m embarrassed that Microsoft doesn’t have anything like iTunes or Gmail.

People seem to like simple stuff that just works, we’re not so good at that.

Uh, that cloud thing again. Microsoft is working on it, promise. It just might take a while…

Microsoft’s corporate culture is completely killing them.

The 1939 World’s Fair was seriously cool, someone really needs to make that into a movie.

The cloud is our generation’s flying car.

Microsoft needs to expand its monopolies into government.

In the future, we’ll all have our own personal robotic unicorns and they will be powered by nothing more than water vapor (the cloud).

And in closing, I’d just like to say, ‘the cloud’.

Filed under: Computers / Internet by James Fryer